It's a Jeep Thing

The biking portion of our ride came to an end yesterday and it was torture to give back the sweet carbon fiber bikes that we rented. I think I shed a tear or two saying goodbye to them. What on Earth would we do without bikes all day?

We tossed around the idea of renting either mountain bikes or a Jeep. Since we didn't have the right gear for mountain biking, I opted for the Jeep. I figured we deserved to cheat a little today and use some gasoline to get around. That was a decision I later regretted!



We planned on taking two different Jeep trails. The ride was slotted to last 4-5 hours so it sounded like a nice easy and fun day. Wrong! The very start of the first trail had me in tears. I was at least hoping to ease into the off-road riding, but no . . . the trail immediately started going straight up and dangled on the side of a cliff right off the bat. We were in a stock Jeep and the terrain was ridiculous. I guess I'm just used to having all four wheels on the ground at all times and when they are not, I'm a little anxious.

By the time we got done with that first trail I was in serious need of a break, or a very hard drink, or tranquilizer, or something. I suggested that we take a nice hike before tackling the next trail. We didn't bother going into the visitor center to get any stats on the hike. I figured it HAD to be better than riding in that Jeep, so off we went.

3 hours later after non-stop hiking we finally made our way back to the Jeep. It was exhausting. The trail was 25% slick rock, which was fun and easy to walk on (except for the parts that were so steep I wish I had a climbing harness and ropes) and it was 75% sand (like a beach). Do you know how much harder it is to walk in sand? And every time I ever walked several miles in sand it's been on a beach, which is FLAT. This, of course, was not flat at all. Totally pooped. I was actually happy to see the Jeep again.

But the bad news is that we walked along the top of the canyon that we were going to drive down into. Looking at the road cut into the side of the cliff terrified me. Now I suddenly dreaded getting back in the Jeep. Karlo, on the other hand, was jittery with excitement. Lord help me.

Me after looking down into the canyon at the Jeep trail we were about to take. YIKES!

One view of the trail. You can see it snaking along the side of the cliff.

See that dirt trail wayyyyy down into the canyon? We had to lose that much elevation on the switchbacks and finally make our way across the canyon.

Well let me tell you, that was the worst drive of my life. I was completely terrified and nearly in tears. Easily the second most terrifying day of my life (second only to my terrible whitewater rafting trip). I HATED it and I simply could not BELIEVE that they let any old shmoe with no off-road 4x4 driving experience rent a Jeep and attempt this death trap. You should have heard me . . . "I wanna go home . . . SLOW DOWN!!! . . . I'm never getting into a Jeep again as long as I live . . . SLOW DOWN!!! . . . We are selling our Jeep when we get home . . . How many people don't make it down?" The trail was literally cut into the cliff and it just switched back and fourth for 3,000 feet until we were finally on the canyon floor. Every time we turned so that I was on the side that looked straight down I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. And Karlo didn't help matters, driving so that the tires were 6 inches from the edge. Oh God, just writing about this is getting me sick.

Then there was the mud. Holy Lord, that was to be the end of me. For some reason one stretch of serious downhill was a mud bog. The Jeep was literally floating side to side on a 30 degree incline and at the bottom is a hairpin switchback turn. Yeah, you can just imagine the screaming going on. NEVER again. I just thank GOD we are alive right now. I was ready to KILL the guy that rented the stupid Jeep to us.

But the rest of the ride (once we got to the bottom of the canyon) was fine. I guess after what I just went through, not much could phase me and I got much braver. And if you're wondering if we took video of the Hell ride, yes we did, sort of, but once again the GoPro camera served to disappoint. Long story. bottom line, no good footage of the worst part of the ride. But I suppose in retrospect that might be a good thing because I don't think I could stomach reliving it by just watching the video.