The Project from Hell That Will Not End

I think I mentioned the "shed project" a couple of times and it's been a thorn in my side for weeks now. Of course, I complain while it's Karlo doing all the work. If it sucks for me, it has to suck x100 for him. Of all the incredible jobs I've witnessed him perform: putting an addition on and finishing the basement in our old house, building the gallery, remodeling our bathroom, moving a hot tub . . . the list goes on . . . nothing was ever as big of a job, or as bad as this last project. And it really snuck up on me because I had no idea as to the magnitude of it all. Had I known what was involved I would have single-handedly torched the shed to save him all the effort and the potential of hurting his back again.

So what did the project entail exactly? Well, unlike all the other projects that we got some terrific benefit out of, this stinkin' project was just to rebuild what we already had. You see, our 35' steel shed (the shed the previous owner used to store his boat in and we now store our firewood in) nearly collapsed under the weight of the 2+ feet of snow we got during one snow storm in January. We did everything we could to salvage it during the winter and Karlo knew that he would have to do some major repairs this summer. The roof was bowing down and all the trusses that holding it up buckled under all the weight. And so began the project from Hell.

First Karlo removed all the buckled trusses. Then he ordered the 35' wooden beam and got busy cutting down trees in our backyard. Rather than buying the vertical posts, he decided to make them by hand (but of course). This required not only cutting down the straightest trees he could find, but pulling them out of the woods and precisely sawing both ends of each tree (by hand) to the correct size.

I didn't fully appreciate how difficult this job was until I was on hand to watch him try to move one. It required driving the ATV under the tree until it was pitched at such an angle that Karlo could muscle it straight up. Then he had to use the hot tub trick of placing pieces of wood on the ground to move it, only this time he had to spin the tree in circles to get it to move . . . all the while stopping it from falling over. When I witnessed the amount of strength this took I immediately tensed up. I just HATE to watch him man-handling trees for fear of another accident.

I missed an entire week of this production so I can't really recount all the things he had to do, but I did get to witness the main center beam getting raised. He had to build two wooden 'rails' for the 35' beam to slide up into, wach supported by a brand new pad of concrete. Oh yes, there were days of him digging holes and pouring concrete too. That was during the parts I missed.

I'm not exactly sure how he got this ridiculously heavy beam all the way up to the ceiling, but what I do know is that it was me that raised it the final foot into place. The roof was sagging down by one foot and Karlo set up a hydraulic jack and all the rigging to force the roof back to straight. This had to simultaneously occur as Karlo held the center support post into place. So picture this . . . Karlo holding a several hundred pound tree in place as I muscled the jack to push the roof up. At one point I was literally sitting on the jack handle, feet dangling in the air, and it wouldn't budge. Karlo said I needed more weight, but where was I going to get that from? I somehow managed to squeak out some extra force and, I'll be dammed, the roof started to creak as it bent back into place. Now here's the tricky part, as I pushed the roof up, the tree that was on top of the jack (the one used to actually push the roof) had to get loose in order for the center support tree that Karlo was holding to take the weight. Karlo had to instantly line up the center support tree and get it into place while CATCHING the other tree from falling over. The two trees were about 4 feet apart and we had no idea which way the tree on the jack was going to fall. No stress there!

This picture shows the center support post and the main beam in place.

Beam is finally up and the center support post is holding it. Amen. But no, it's not good enough for Karlo. He insists the beam needs to move 3 inches further back toward the back wall. Unreal. So we resort to trying to build a wooden rig and use the Jeep to push it. That doesn't work. So Karlo climbs up the ladder with an enormous sledge hammer and literally bangs it into place. Uuuugh.

Karlo finishes up the header over one of the support posts.

A few more days go by and Karlo finishes placing all the other support post trees on their respective concrete pads. I can taste that the end is near. Little did I know that the freakin' FOUNDATION needs to be moved. What the???? I can't even begin to explain this one, but this was the part that sealed the deal at this being the worst project ever. I was involved with very little of this project so when Karlo said he needed my help, I (of course) wanted to do everything I could to help him. But when he ever asked me to purposefully CRASH the Jeep into the contraption he made to physically move the concrete foundation pilings I thought he lost his mind.

But being the obedient assistant that I am, I did it. And I didn't do it once, but 8 times! That was like 8 small car wrecks that I endured with my horrific neck condition. Do I even need to say what that did to me? I can't even bring myself to say what that did to my condition . . . .

Here's the top view of how much the concrete piling got moved. I am guessing it will be an extra week of pain per inch it moved.

I'm pretty sure this tree is holding the foundation in place at this point.

So far it's been two more days of non-stop welding as Karlo fabricates the new trusses that will hold up the now straight roof. As far as I am concerned I never want to step foot, nor even LOOK at that damned shed again.

One side is now complete with the new metal trusses.

I had a one hour massage tonight to try to relieve some of my nerve pain. On the way out I asked the therapist what I should do to try to reduce the pain while at home and she said, "Stay away from your husband!" Luckily for me, Karlo is out of town this week so with any luck I'll be feeling better when he gets home.