A Very Rough Weekend and Day

I had big plans for this past weekend. I knew it would be a busy one and I knew I would be all alone. I was almost looking forward to a total weekend of “me” time to work on my craft projects, catch up on my life, and prepare for vacation. Karlo took off Saturday morning for Milan. The weather was nasty and I envisioned a whole day of being productive indoors, but it seemed I didn’t get nearly the things accomplished that I had planned. I got very distracted by trying to figure out how Karlo and I would communicate without the world phones that I bought (but can’t use), the nitty gritty details of packing, and caring for and worrying about Bentley.

My poor boy had taken a turn for the worse over the past few weeks. I can’t help but to think that it’s my fault for ever uttering the word “puppy” in his presence. Seems as though ever since I did Bentley hasn’t been himself. No sooner does Karlo leave for his trip and I swear things went even further downhill. Karlo insisted that Bentley was just sad because he saw the suitcase and saw me hugging Karlo at the door. But I knew it was worse than that. I stressed myself out all day on Saturday and finally called the vet on Sunday. There was no way I could leave him in this condition and enjoy a single day of our vacation. I got busy making a ramp to help him get in and out of the doggie door and patiently waited for the vet to call me back.

I was able to get an appointment first thing this morning and driving to Tolland today was the longest and most dreadful drive ever. I knew in the bottom of my stomach that it may be his last ride in the Jeep. I just felt that something was not right. After a complete rollercoaster of emotions all morning long, several trips to the bathroom, a packet of tissues, and several hundred calories lost due to shivering and shaking I finally got the bad news from the vet. My precious baby has bone cancer. Despite the fact that I already knew in my heart this was coming, the sadness that swept over me was nearly too much to bear. And to think I’m going through this alone, with Karlo thousands of miles away. All I can say is that the people at Tolland Veterinary are the most wonderful people on earth. They offered to keep and care for Bentley for the two weeks while we will be away . . . just so that Karlo and I can both properly say goodbye to him when we return. Coming home will be incredibly hard knowing what we need to do. I’m trying really hard to think good thoughts and celebrate the amazing life we gave him, but this has been one terrible day.