Happy Bithday John

My nephew turns 16 today. I’m still trying to recover from the shock of it all. At what point do I have to stop referring to my niece and nephew as “the kids?” I can already share clothes with Nicole (actually, she has already passed me in most clothing items) and now John will be driving and picking out colleges. The reality hit me when the family was visiting last week (and I’m sorry I don’t have a picture of “the kids” blowing out their birthday candles) . . . we were talking about how my family will probably never drive out to our house for Christmas. Not only are my aunts and cousins inflicted with some sort of “driving in the snow, or dark, or East of the River” phobia, but now it appears that those genes were also passed along to my brother. I’ll get back to that story in a minute. The point here is that John pointed out that HE will drive out the next time we host Christmas. Here he was only days away from turning 16 and to hear him tell me that HE would drive still shocked me. That’s when we all came to the conclusion that by the time we host Christmas again, John will be in college. Gulp.

So back to my brother. I’ve been contemplating publicly complaining about him, and since he probably doesn’t read this and I know his wife would agree, here goes . . .

I have a bone to pick with Angelo. I’m trying to figure out why no man related to me ever listens to me. My father, my brother, my husband . . . they never listen to me. I find it strange that many other people in my life come to me for advice, expertise, etc. I think I’m fairly intelligent and very reliable, yet the men in my life dismiss most everything I tell them.

For instance, I had many stories to tell about the commute out to our new home. I specifically told my brother our experience with our GSP. The GPS does NOT discriminate between real paved roads and off-road trails. I told the story about how we set my father’s address from Eastford and the GPS took us on a trail that crunched the underbelly of our Golf. I could not have made myself any more clear that he should NOT trust the GPS, but instead follow MY directions. After all, I do live out here and probably know what I’m talking about.

But does he listen to me? No, of course not. On their first visit, I told him what the easiest way back to the highway was. Many of you reading have been out to visit, have taken this route, and have all agreed that it was a breeze to drive. Every single person that visited listened to my incredibly easy directions back to the highway and followed them. They basically consisted of ONE turn. I guess they sounded too easy for my brother and being the adventurous person he is, he trusted the GPS, which took him a good 10 miles out of his way.

And this past time my brother visited, he once again relied on the GPS, which once again took him several miles out of his way and directed him to drive on a trail. I think I’m giving up on communicating with the men in my family. I truly think my ONLY hope at a male relative with more common sense is my nephew. John, I’m counting on you to be the smartest of the bunch.