Anti-Volkswagon

Both Karlo and I have owned VWs in the past. Karlo has actually owned several. They are generally great cars. They are fun to drive and have tight handling. You get the expensive import car feel for a much cheaper price tag. However, deep down they really are pieces of crap dressed up to look like fine German engineering.

My old Jetta had it's share of strange VW bugs. For instance, it had phantom electrical problems. Sometimes when I went to start it, it made a horrific grinding noise. The fix was to quickly stop trying to turn the engine over . . . wait a couple of seconds and try again. Magic . . . all fixed. It also had windshield wipers that only worked when they felt like it. And again, if I needed them to work when they wouldn't, I would have to shut the engine down and restart. Just like computers, my Jetta needed often reboots.

But that was nothing compared to Karlo's last Passat. Holy heaping pile of problems . . . one after the other. I can't possibly remember them all, but here's just a few:

• The glow plug would blow once or twice a year. This is the device that starts a diesel engine and can only be fixed by a real shop.
• The interior dashboard lights were off more than on.
• The air conditioner didn't work.
• The power windows NEVER worked. On the off chance that you actually got one to go down . . . good luck trying to get it back up. How many times did they get stuck down before the rain started?
• The doors froze every winter so that we had to tie (with rope) the doors shut. Yeah, THAT wasn't too inconvenient at all.

So after these lovely experiences with our last VWs Karlo put his foot down and said "No more VWs for us!" and this was coming from a long-time fan of the German cars. And we went happily for 4 years with no VWs. Then this year we broke down. We were on the hunt for an all-purpose do-everything car with great gas mileage. It seems Volkswagon is the only car manufacturer that offers affordable diesels. The 50 miles per gallon made us forget all the previous bad experiences and we bought a Golf.

Two weeks into having it, we get a phantom ticking sound. Every time we used the directional signal, it would tick out of control for 2 minutes. Since the car needed a new timing belt anyway, we took it to the shop for a very expensive visit and had the ticking fixed along with the belt . . . . Two weeks later, the ticking comes back! Uuuuuuuugh, VWs . . . They make me want to scream.

Two months ago we discovered that the sunroof leaks - BAD. If the car is left outside during the rain, a very large puddle of water will form on the floor. If we are driving, it drips all over my feet. And we have even been in a downpour where I swear it was raining in the car.

All these things we could live with. But now the car is not starting! Just put a new battery in it and it still doesn’t turn over. If you take any advice from me at all, do not buy a Volkswagon.